The 11 signs your neighbour’s a swinger and why the door colour and jewellery they wear is a HUGE giveaway
FROM chats over the fence to popping in for a cuppa, you may think you know your neighbour inside out.
For some, they may even have a key to your house…but it turns out, the people living closest to you could well be hiding a naughty little secret.
According to Annabelle Knight, Sex & Relationships Expert at Lovehoney, there are several tell-tale signs that your neighbour could be a swinger.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, she says: “Subtle signals probably started as a way for swingers to find each other without dealing with social stigma or misunderstandings.
“Over time, as people have become more open-minded, these signals have evolved to balance discretion with the need to communicate openly.”
Whether it’s placing a wicker basket outside their home or wearing a black ring on their right hand, those living in the four walls next door could well be giving off non verbal clues that hint they’re part of a rather adventurous lifestyle.
So, what do your neighbours really get up to behind closed doors? Here’s the secret signs that could just uncover their saucy secrets…
Black rings on the right hand
While your choice of jewellery may be dependent on your outfit, if your neighbour likes to swap partners, chances are they’ll be sporting a black ring.
“Much like the ‘Pear’ rings, wearing black rings on the right hand, particularly on the middle finger, is also used as a subtle indicator at times,” Annabelle explains.
Speaking to The Stranger in 2015, Beckett Cooper, host of the Life on the Swingset podcast, also agrees: “The black ring is a concept that’s been gaining steam over the last couple years.
“Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers.
“If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them, ‘I see you’re wearing a black ring on your right hand. Maybe we are in the same club.'”
To really get the message out loud and clear, according to The Swinger Symbol (SS), some people decide to wear a black ring emblazoned with ‘a swing’ symbol.
The website explains: “The symbol can help all of us to discretely identify and recognise each other in the swinging lifestyle.
“We propose wearing swinger jewellery at whatever point you’re available to meet like minded people in this lifestyle.
“It will send out a clear and out loud message that you’re interested in a swinging adventure with the person you’re meeting.”
Anklets
It’s not just black rings that may indicate your neighbour indulges in the swingers lifestyle.
According to sex expert Annabelle, an anklet could also be a tell-tale sign.
“Like black rings, some claim a married woman wearing an anklet could sometimes signify openness to swinging,” she says.
However, she adds: “Although it is one to be mindful of as this could also just be someone’s style choice.”
Wicker baskets
If you like to keep your front porch looking presentable, then you may want to think twice before you go and pick up some sweet decorations from the likes of B&M or Home Bargains.
That’s because according to Annabelle, you could be giving off the wrong message if swinging isn’t your thing.
“One of the latest trend to emerge has been placing wicker baskets or hearts outside homes,” she notes.
Pink or purple doors
Has your neighbour recently been out the front with a paintbrush giving their front door an overhaul?
Well, according to Annabelle, there’s two colours choices that may mean your neighbour is sending out a subtle signal to other swingers.
“A pink or purple front door could be a cheeky nod to open-mindedness and swinging, but it could also be just a design choice,” she says.
“Still, it makes for a fun talking point on drives around town!”
Loofahs on cars
While for many, loofahs are something that remain solely in the shower or bath, not if you’re in the swinging community.
Annabelle explains: “In some communities, tying different coloured loofahs to car antennas signifies interest.
“The colour may even hint at specific preferences or roles the couple prefers!”
Adirondack chairs
If you think your neighbour has purchased some new garden furniture to update their outdoor space, think again.
There could well be a hidden meaning behind it…and it could be a sign that they have a very busy bedroom!
According to Urban Dictionary, different colours of Adirondack chairs can apparently mean different things, with purple meaning “anything goes.”
One person from New Jersey got wind of the rumour and posted about it on a subreddit.
‘My sister-in-law told me that in Union County if you have 2 Adirondack chairs on your lawn, facing the road, it’s how you announce that you’re a swinger,’ they wrote.
‘Has anyone else heard this or know it to be true? I’m curious if this is true or just a dumb rumour.’
While a quick look on Google brings up a suggestion of results linking the furniture to the swingers lifestyle, it seems to be only speculation so far.
Rock hard
Thought those white rocks in your driveway gave your home an air of sophistication? You might be suggesting more than you think.
According to Urban Dictionary, if you’re being propositioned by a swinger couple it may be referred to as being “white rocked”.
This comes from the urban legend that a house with decorative white rocks in the front garden indicates swingers live there.
This suggestion has been further supported by Cooper S. Beckett, who hosts the Life On The Swingset: The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast.
Writing on his blog, he says: “Some have placed white rocks in their front yards to reaffirm their ‘secret code swinger status’.”
Grass is greener?
Pampas grass was once a common shrub, adding an exotic feel to front gardens up and down the country.
But an unfortunate association with swinging quickly brought this to an end, according to The Telegraph, with avid gardeners too embarrassed to purchase the plant.
In fact, sales actually plummeted after it was revealed to be a secret signal to passersby that its owners were fans of swinging.
Broadcaster Mariella Frostrup once said she inadvertently identified herself as a swinger by planting the grass outside her home, saying she was inundated with unwanted enquiries.
Writing on X – formerly known as Twitter – in 2011, she said: “Who knew that pampas grass plants are a signal to fellow swingers?
“Bought two and put them on my balcony. Neighbours have been swarming!”
Knob clue
You might think a “wacky” door knocker is just a bit of fun, but if your neighbour has opted for a pineapple design, it could be a very revealing clue about what goes on behind closed doors.
According to alternative lifestyle website Bigger Love, they’re a secret symbol that the residents are swingers – especially if they’re upside down.
In fact it’s perhaps not so secret – on TikTok, the hashtag #UpsideDownPineapple has racked up over 149 million views.
This is a symbol that is particularly significant if you’re in the supermarket, and also on cruises.
It can also be worn as a pattern on a dress or shirt as a subtle message to those in the know.
Mind your gnome business
They may look sweet and innocent, but it turns out “quirky” garden statues like gnomes and flamingos can also indicate there is a swinger in the midst.
It’s a fact a real estate agent has written about previously, saying: “Turns out that homeowners keep gnomes on the front lawn as an indicator.
“My client looked online to see if this was a joke or real and sure enough, there’s a website out there with info all about it.”
Flamingos are another sign, apparently most commonly used at caravan parks.
Hot tubs
A hot tub is an amazing way to relax after a long, hard day at work, or to socialise with friends – but it could also indicate you’re looking for a little more “risque” fun too.
In response to one poster on Mumsnet asking if it would be a good idea to get a hot tub in the garden, one clued-up reader replied: “People will think you are swingers – hot tubs are the new pampas grass you know.”
With that in mind, maybe you’ll think twice before hopping into next door’s tub…
